Turning Trials into Triumphs

When I woke up this morning, I remembered.  Today was the day I had a conference with "that" parent. You know the one - her child does no wrong, you are solely responsible for any less than perfect grade, and he/she always leaves the house in perfect school uniform.  This is a parent whom I have contacted via email several times during the year about various issues, but who has waited until three weeks before the end of the year to come and meet me face to face.  This is one of my trials.  My goal in this conference is to let the parent know that I'm on her side and that I want her child to be as prepared for high school as possible. This student is extremely bright, but unmotivated.  A solid B student, where there should be straight As.  Typical 8th grader, in other words.  :-)

Many times as teachers we are faced with challenges that seem insurmountable.  Administrators, students, peers and parents all have their own agendas and priorities that often clash with ours.  However, there are many ways to change the way we deal with and view difficult situations in school and turn them into a positive experience.  Here's how to spin that negativity and improve your own day in the process:

Students:  When students are resistant to learning, or if it's just "one of those days", take your objective and find another way to achieve it.  For example, when I planned a parts of speech review lesson the day before a long weekend, I was quickly faced with the reality of 22 antsy teenagers who, in their minds, were already on a mini-vacation.  So I mixed it up and taught them the slap game instead, where I wrote the parts of speech on the board, divided the class into two teams, and students took turns slapping the correct part of speech when I called out a word (if I said big, they would slap "adjective", swim - "verb").  In this way, we managed to review while allowing students to be physically and mentally engaged.

Peers:  We always want to have a collaborative, productive relationship with our fellow teachers and staff members.  The benefits of teachers who get along is priceless to school morale and performance.  We are all human, though, and miscommunications and conflicts happen.  To minimize these, a regular meeting allows everyone to be "in the loop" and feel like they have a voice in the school.  Beware of adminstrators taking over the meetings!  In our district, as in many others, we have PLCs, or professional learning communities, where the department head or another teacher take turns running the meeting and sharing strategies and knowledge.  Don't be afraid to get close to your peers as well.  Finding common interests and backgrounds can lead to a very positive working environment.

Administrators:  I've always struggled with feeling comfortable with my administrators. I think teachers in general, being their own bosses in their classrooms, have difficulty answering to higher-ups.  The teachers who are most successful at getting along with their administrators have several things in common.  First is confidence in themselves.  If you know that you are doing your job to the best of your ability, you have nothing to fear when the principal or HOF calls you into his office.  Secondly, you show up.  Teachers who have absentee issues are automatically pegged as less professional, whether that's fair or not.  Finally, cultivate a relationship with your administrator as you would with your teaching peers.  Most of the time,  administrators are former teachers with great advice to share.  Even if you're not having trouble with classroom management, break the ice with your principal by asking her what worked best in her classroom or other classrooms she's observed.  She will appreciate your interest in becoming the best teacher you can be.

Parents:  The biggest issue for many teachers.  I have known teachers to bump up a student's grade just because the parent had a reputation for raising a fuss with administration if it was too low.  At the school where I work, parents are considered "customers" and the customer is always right.  My own personal belief is that I teach as if the parents of my students are sitting in the back of the room.  This enables me to identify with the parents and see things from their point of view.  I also make sure to include positive feedback at the beginning of every student conference.  There are several keywords to remember:

If a student speaks out a lot in class, he is a leader.
If a student doesn't complete work on time, he simply needs to learn time management.
If a student is distracted, you can say she is a multitasker in training.
If a student tries to get you off on tangents, you can comment on her level of engagement and critical thinking questions.

I used several of these in my conference this morning, and the parent went from having a chip on her shoulder to asking me for advice about which high school courses her son should be taking.  The truth is the same, whether you make it ugly or not.  Why not make it easier for parents to hear about their student's issues?  We should approach conferences as interventions, as chances to make a difference with a child.  If you don't know what I mean, watch an episode of "Intervention".  There is constant positive reinforcement of good traits, eye contact, sitting in a nonconfrontational setting (don't sit parents on the opposite side of your desk), and clear setting of future goals.  I went from dreading dealing with this parent to smiling and hoping I have more contact with her in these last few weeks.

No one consciously invites challenges into their lives. They just show up.  You can handle anything life brings you as long as you stay calm, focused on the end goal, and true to yourself.  Happy teaching!